4 friends (ladies) meet 30 years after school at reunion:
One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
Friend 1 says her son studied Economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a ferrari.
Friend 2 says her son became a pilot, started his own airline, and is so rich, he gave his best friend a private Jet.
Friend 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company, became so rich, he built his best friend a castle.
Friend 4 came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz was about.
They told her that they were talking about their sons' accomplishments and asked her about her son
She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
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ONE COLD WINTER MORNING....
Wife is at home and texts her husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water on it slowly."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer completely screwed up now."
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A woman called a travel agency. The following conversation ensued:
Customer: "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York."
Agent: "Er, are you sure that's the name of the town?"
Customer: "Yes, what flights do you have?"
Baffled, the agent scoured around but finally had to give up.
Agent: "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
Customer: "Oh, don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"
Just then, the agent had a stroke of inspiration.
Agent: "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
Customer: "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
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An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife a meal," he insists.
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
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Man boards the commuter train in the morning. Sits next to another guy and they start small talking.
First guy says, "Oh man, I made the most embarrassing mistake this morning, I went to the counter to buy a ticket, and the woman working there had huge breasts. Well, I got distracted and instead of asking for a 'ticket to Pittsburgh' I said "gimme a picket to Tittsburgh!"
Second guy says, "Brother, tell me about it. I did a similar thing at the breakfast table. There I am sitting with my wife and I mean to say "Honey would you pass the syrup, please?" but instead I say "YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
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A professor to his students, "Do you know that Russian is the only language where two positive words put together make a negative expression? In all other languages two positives would still mean something positive." A voice from the back benches of the class was then heard, "Yeah, right."
EDIT: Another nice one:
Q: What is the most phenomenal film career transition ever?
A: Sunny Leone's transition from C:\Program Files\System\untitled\temp\extra\new to E:\Hindi Movies
FYI: Sunny Leone is a porn star turned Bollywood actress.
One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
Friend 1 says her son studied Economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a ferrari.
Friend 2 says her son became a pilot, started his own airline, and is so rich, he gave his best friend a private Jet.
Friend 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company, became so rich, he built his best friend a castle.
Friend 4 came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz was about.
They told her that they were talking about their sons' accomplishments and asked her about her son
She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
-------------------------------------------------------------
ONE COLD WINTER MORNING....
Wife is at home and texts her husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water on it slowly."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer completely screwed up now."
-------------------------------------------------------------
A woman called a travel agency. The following conversation ensued:
Customer: "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York."
Agent: "Er, are you sure that's the name of the town?"
Customer: "Yes, what flights do you have?"
Baffled, the agent scoured around but finally had to give up.
Agent: "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
Customer: "Oh, don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"
Just then, the agent had a stroke of inspiration.
Agent: "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
Customer: "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife a meal," he insists.
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Man boards the commuter train in the morning. Sits next to another guy and they start small talking.
First guy says, "Oh man, I made the most embarrassing mistake this morning, I went to the counter to buy a ticket, and the woman working there had huge breasts. Well, I got distracted and instead of asking for a 'ticket to Pittsburgh' I said "gimme a picket to Tittsburgh!"
Second guy says, "Brother, tell me about it. I did a similar thing at the breakfast table. There I am sitting with my wife and I mean to say "Honey would you pass the syrup, please?" but instead I say "YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
A professor to his students, "Do you know that Russian is the only language where two positive words put together make a negative expression? In all other languages two positives would still mean something positive." A voice from the back benches of the class was then heard, "Yeah, right."
EDIT: Another nice one:
Q: What is the most phenomenal film career transition ever?
A: Sunny Leone's transition from C:\Program Files\System\untitled\temp\extra\new to E:\Hindi Movies
FYI: Sunny Leone is a porn star turned Bollywood actress.